My older two kiddos were awarded scholarships to theater camp this week, at the community theater in the city close to us. Today one of her teachers has a birthday and my 9-year-old, the Scientist as I started calling her on this blog many moons ago, wanted to make her a birthday card. She folded a piece of computer paper in half and wrote 'happy birthday ___.' On the inside she wrote who it was from, and then she was done.
She was so excited to show it to me as we got ready to leave this morning, and when she did I barely looked at it and said "all you did was write happy birthday on a piece of paper?" Her face....her face... I ripped her heart out ya'll. I heart her as no other person could. I am her mama, I should have praised her generous spirit thinking of someone else; instead I judged her work as not good enough and I hurt my baby. This is a child that thrives on approval and I cruelly derided her effort. Why??? Why did I do that??? I am so sorry baby, I am so sorry.
Paul writes somewhere in the new testament that he does what he hates, that which he does not want to do. I think I can empathize.
I share this with you all to say, I don't know quite honestly. Maybe to bring my sin to light so I can heal? Either way, I have a daughter to repent to and a relationship to nourish.
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| My silly, amazing, beautiful girl |
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