tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36655824678322225092024-02-19T04:55:50.190-06:00Something NewBehold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? Isaiah 43:19Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-82443757832330847802017-06-09T15:31:00.003-05:002017-06-09T15:31:38.310-05:00The Next ThingFrom an old English parsonage, down by the sea<br />
There came in the twilight a message to me;<br />
It's quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,<br />
Hath, as it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.<br />
And on through the hours the quiet words ring<br />
Like a low inspiration--"DO THE NEXT THING"<br />
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Many a question, many of fear,<br />
Many a doubt, ath its quieting here.<br />
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,<br />
Time, opportunity, guidance, are given.<br />
Fear not tomorrow, Child of the King,<br />
Trust them with Jesus, "DO THE NEXT THING"<br />
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Do it immediately; do it with prayer;<br />
Do it reliantly, casting all care;<br />
Do it with reverence, tracing His Hand<br />
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.<br />
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing,<br />
Leave all resultings, "DO THE NEXT THING"<br />
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Looking to Jesus, ever serener,<br />
Working or suffering be thy demeanor,<br />
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,<br />
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,<br />
Stron in His faithfulness, praise and sing,<br />
Then, as He beckons thee, "DO THE NEXT THING."<br />
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No one knows who wrote this well known poem, but it's words have been resonating throughtout my scattered brain this morning, as I seek guidance from Our Father for what needs to get done. When life gets crazy, and it seems to never end, sometimes it's all you can do to put one foot in front of the other, to keep moving the direction God has called you, even if that movement is a shuffle-step. So what does this look like for our little(ish) crew?<br />
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Well, for starters we moved 645 miles away from almost everything ours kids knew, and where two of them were born, back to hubby and my's homestate. When we first arrived it was a mad dash to unpack all the boxes just to get them out of the way; after the dust settled we did a better job of organizing, while finishing off last year's school year. Who knew we had so much stuff!! Two months later the teenager is still adjusting, but we have found an excellent youth group based in the truth of God's Word for him to be invovled in. Otherwise it's been a very smooth transition! It helps to have family nearby :)<br />
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Also, in about 6-8 weeks we will have a new baby brother to dote on! We are beyond happy and excited, but it hasn't helped my scattered brain!! Right now the next thing is to start a list of what will need to get done in the next few weeks so I can keep it from bouncing around in my head and onto paper! My oldest daughter has been letting everyone she encounters know that she gets to be there when he's born; it warms my heart to know how much this means to her!<br />
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Finally, we are starting a new curriculum for this school year-which we will start super early (next week) so we have plenty of margin to enjoy the new baby. We're going to begin using <a href="http://www.amblesideonline.org/" target="_blank">Ambleside Online</a>, which uses the ideals and practices of early 20th century educator Charlotte Mason. Charlotte Mason (or CM) ideals have been near and dear to my heart since we first began this homeschool journey seven years ago, but I had it on the backburner during our time in Texas. I'm so grateful to have my passion renewed as I've taken back my time from that which was distracting me (looking at you facebook) and I'm excited to start this new journey! I'll share more about how I've been planning and what that looks like later on. :D<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRLaUavj89QZmDpcWaZlsGcewG3eSh8xpcwyaiup-SKQyeHGHufXjDfLkitqugctLYefYGjbzWvZYlJ5PSSJI4sTCrcVBBOFwuTJ6LW-hJe16pUbDT1Yc0_3d_dUY5CnnOvSfoz4Sst0O-/s1600/IMG_1358.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRLaUavj89QZmDpcWaZlsGcewG3eSh8xpcwyaiup-SKQyeHGHufXjDfLkitqugctLYefYGjbzWvZYlJ5PSSJI4sTCrcVBBOFwuTJ6LW-hJe16pUbDT1Yc0_3d_dUY5CnnOvSfoz4Sst0O-/s320/IMG_1358.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our new backyard viw</td></tr>
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Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-48436622244021575992016-11-28T09:00:00.000-06:002016-11-28T09:09:14.789-06:00Just keep breathingUnless you live under a rock, you know about a little blue tang fish named Dory and her famous saying, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming." As I found myself approaching hysterical panic the other day, I starting repeating my own version of Dory's little ditty, "just keep breathing, just keep breathing, breathing, breathing." Parenting, marriage, homeschooling, life, is hard enough as it is. But add a dash of holiday crazy, and this momma might go a little crazy!<br />
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There is the house to clean, food to cook, kids to motivate to help (many times unwillingly), activities to get ready for, arguments to break up, things to buy (cue hyperventilating). Plus maintaining our home, feeding the masses (aka. my family) so that they don't become an unruly mob. Laundry (it breeds!), dishes, why so many dishes?!? On top of making the time to truly connect with my husband, disciple our children, and maybe, just maybe, shower (gasp!).<br />
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If you find me in a corner rocking and crying, just throw me some chocolate please.<br />
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But God<br />
Just keep breathing. Trust in the Lord. I know it's hard when, at times like this especially, all you can see is your to-dos. When everyone seems to want a piece of you. <u>But God.</u> Take it one step at a time. Make a list of everything you want to get done, that way it's not stuck inside your head, spinning like a top. Remember that you can only do so much, ask for help. Lower your standards if that's what you need; if something nonessential is making you a little batty, chances are it's nonessential! Give yourself some Grace!! Look into the eyes of the ones you love and remember why you're doing this. And more than anything, remember <u>whose</u> you are and Who you are doing this for. You are a child of the Most High God and a gift to His Son Jesus, who will never ever let you go. Beloved, He loves you, just breath.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnHzqnHSigyD_sh876QU8qvQ6m6joxzKCSUJWGMDy2BmrHOdqoGEdN9TXMlZgF8PG8iw68ir63pF1MK7Hk6Ivsh8doF_zMaoWGzc_ifH3J4Ex8be2qqqEFvlDx5Ga-6R9V5Lgt9yvsK8bZ/s1600/IMG_0643.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnHzqnHSigyD_sh876QU8qvQ6m6joxzKCSUJWGMDy2BmrHOdqoGEdN9TXMlZgF8PG8iw68ir63pF1MK7Hk6Ivsh8doF_zMaoWGzc_ifH3J4Ex8be2qqqEFvlDx5Ga-6R9V5Lgt9yvsK8bZ/s320/IMG_0643.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.</b><br />
<b>Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." John 14:27 NASB</b></td></tr>
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If you feel led, leave a comment and let us know what helps you and yours get through the crazy of the holidays!Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-77821100310637530572016-10-11T10:17:00.000-05:002016-10-11T10:18:47.877-05:00I just spent five dollars on Pokeballs First can I just say that I never in my life thought I would spend $5 on an in-app purchase? Never in a million years. As a matter of fact I have zealously teased my husband when he buys more lives in his Candy Crush game. But... I just spent five dollars on Pokeballs.<br />
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Parenting is hard, we all know that. It's this delicate balance between feeling the need to bend willful creatures with more energy than you to your will, and giving them grace because they are just kids. It's the never knowing if you're doing the right thing. Let me share with you for a moment where I'm at. My oldest will be 13 in four months, 13 ya'll, I'm not ready to be a mom of a teenager! My second oldest will be 10 two days after that (followed two days after that with my little mimi turning 4 and almost a month to the day after that my baby will be 2, bizarre I know). And everything I have heard about boys being easier is so, so, so true. I love my big baby girl so very much; she is my rainbow baby. She truly has a heart of gold and has real love for other people, compassion is great with this one. She is also my most trying child. My oldest, I get him, we understand each other. He is me only with testosterone. Her? not so much. The Lord is definitely using her to refine me!<br />
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So what does that look like, the refining? It looks like spending five dollars on Pokeballs. I am learning to let go of my pride, what I think is right, and learning a new way. It looks like laying bare the soul to other human beings and (gasp!) actually admitting how hard things have been. It looks like praying for a soft heart, a tender heart, even if it hurts. And it will, because when you pray that prayer, God answers, and life hurts. But the peace of God that passes all understanding will guard you; it will give you the still peace in the eye of the storm. It will allow you to see past the hurt to see the tender shoot underneath. The tender shoot of that child's heart, the woman's heart beside you, the heart of a man doing his very best.<br />
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Have a blessed day ya'll; love the ones placed in your life with a sacrificial love that releases pride.<br />
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Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-15395519094755551692016-10-02T10:15:00.001-05:002016-10-02T17:15:48.334-05:00Reflecting on HimHi there<br />
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I know I haven't posted in a while, but my ideal for this blog is for it to be a source of encouragement, comfort, and perhaps a little sarcasm (smile). Since I've been a maudlin lately, I didn't want to whine about my first-world problems; so began the radio silence. I have been brought to a place of introspection; which is usually preceded by the word 'quiet,' but there may have been some kicking and screaming involved...</div>
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What have I learned? Grief is not just for when a person dies; it's also for relationships, former lives, and wasted time. </div>
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Hug your babies; scoop them up and don't let them go so that someday they'll take joy in your relationship. In developmental psych we learned the concept of 'firmly attached babies' that are secure enough in their relationship to their parent, that they feel free to be independent, and yet still come back. Yes, that, do that with your kids.</div>
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Laugh; take the time to laugh.</div>
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I've also learned to not be so busy that you can't take the time to check out your husband's ass. Yeah, I said it. Look at it, remember what attracted you to your husband. I'm not talking about all those nice, sweet things good Christian girls talk about, his personality, how funny he is, what a sweetheart he can be. I'm talking about what physically attracted you to your man, because he <u>is</u> a man and he'll like it, I promise.</div>
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I've also learned that sometimes we may never know the answer to the age old question of 'why?' </div>
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The book of Job is often lauded as an example of a man who didn't question God; he kept the faith. In the 9th chapter, Job laments, "Though I say, 'I will forget my complaint, I will leave off my sad countenance and be cheerful.' I am afraid of all my pains, I know that You will not acquit me. I am accounted wicked, Why then should I toil in vain?" (v.27-29 NASB). Now I'm not a Bible scholar, but it sure seems like Job is questioning God here; he's also a bit despair-y, a bit maudlin. Job seems to be asking a question that I've been asking more than I should lately, "why God, what's the point?" What is the point? <u>Jesus.</u> Jesus is the point. </div>
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Earlier in Job 9, he says, "but how can a man be in the right before God?" (v.2). Jesus, the Lamb of God, whose blood was shed that we could be made right with God. Jesus, who came to give us to ultimate example of a life lived for God. Jesus, who knew we would fall, and loved on us anyway.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."<br />
Romans 5:8</td></tr>
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Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-40240682321671189032016-09-11T22:52:00.001-05:002016-09-11T22:52:37.487-05:00To begin again<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Like a newly walking baby, so goes our walk in Christ.<br />Sometimes we run to Our Father; sometimes we fall<br />and wait for Him to pick us up.<br /><div style="text-align: center;">
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I won't lie folks, it's been a rough couple of weeks. Last time I wrote I was frustrated with my plans changing, and I had great plans ya'll; they were the stuff of legend. But they changed, they're still changing; I have to let God pick me up, and I fell hard. I won't go into details, but think weeping in the bathroom intermittently coughing so hard I gagged, snot going everywhere, hard. But sometimes, sometimes that's where Our Father has to lets us be so that we know our great need for Him. Sometimes we have to look up and see our own pride in pushing forward, trying to get it all done, the boxes checked, in order that we can repent and let Him lift us from the miry clay.<div>
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In Exodus 33, God promises His people that He will go with them and He will give them rest. Rest... Rest beloved. In the NASB, the word 'rest' is found 292 times, according to <a href="http://blueletterbible.org/">blueletterbible.org</a>. Think about that for a moment. We, as a society, are so busy doing our works, some are even very good works, that we lose sight of the fact that resting was so important to God, that the word can be found 292 times. Heck, it's even one of the Ten Commandments. Why do we lose sight of that?</div>
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I am also convinced that it's not just physical rest God wants us to take, but spiritual. Jesus said in Matthew 11:29, <b>"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." </b>Rest for our souls... To be gentle and humble in heart...</div>
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Can you imagine how much less you would hurt another human being, one of God's creatures, one of your children, yourself, if we were gentle, humble in heart? I cannot tell you how many times I have hurt one of my children's hearts' simply because I was in a hurry; I just wanted to get something done. Or I didn't feel well, or I was tired, or..or..or... you get the idea. To be gentle, to rest in Him. To know that He will gives us peace beyond understanding (Philippians 4:7). To begin again. To stop pushing forward when everything is saying stop, when He is saying stop. We have an enemy ya'll, an enemy that will keep us so worked up we can't hear the soft still voice of Our Father. An enemy that doesn't want you to hear the soft, still voice of the Father. Our enemy knows that if he can separate us from God's voice, if he can make us feel alone, we will give in to the temptation to despair. Now mind, I'm not talking about sadness, or even depression, but despair. Despair says there's no hope, no point, and you actually start to believe it. </div>
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Join me in resting in Him. Join me in learning to be gentle and humble in heart; pride tells you you're not doing enough, humility says it doesn't matter. Join me to begin again, to let Your Father pick you up. When I was younger I thought I made God unhappy when He had to pick me up, again (and again). But now I know He is smiling. He's so happy to have me home, to have you home; He is the Good Shepherd gone after the 1 lost sheep. Oh what a celebration there is in Heaven when the lost sheep comes home.<br /><br /></div>
Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-41150464222743183482016-08-22T11:49:00.001-05:002016-08-22T11:49:16.237-05:00When plans changeI like plans. They don't need to be specific plans, just a general 'hey, around this time, this is going to happen.' Incidentally my children thrive on specific plans so that has been a struggle for me, but that's a post for another time. Also incidentally, I think my husband rebels against all plans when he's at home, because his work outside of the home requires <b>a lot </b>of planning; but I love him anyway ;)<br />
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Anywho...plans. My plans have seemed to be changing a lot lately and I don't like it. It feels as though God, who is far wiser than I am, has decided to tweak me. I don't like that either. It's annoying, it's frustrating, it hurts my flesh, my pride, my sense of control. Why does my Lord, in his infinite wisdom feel the need to change my plans on such a consistent basis?<br />
"For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives." Hebrews 12:6 NASB<br />
"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials..." James 1:2<br />
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I don't know about you, but that's not very encouraging. We as believers like to gloss over the hard stuff, but the Bible is full of hard stuff. It's also full of the love story God has for us, but a lot of hard stuff too. I don't know why life can't just happen the way I plan more often; heck, I'd be happy with 60% of the time, but that's just life. Perhaps I'm being "driven and tossed by the wind" (James 1:6) but...I don't know.<br />
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Maybe I'm just being ungrateful. Yes, finances are tight, but we have a regular paycheck. Yes, my kids make me crazy sometimes, but consider the picture of the the little boy from Syria in the back of the ambulance. Yes, there's a lot of housework that hasn't got done, but we have a home to live in.<br />
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I don't know, I guess I'm just whining. I'm frustrated because all the things I wanted done this summer didn't happen and it's time for school to start again. School was supposed to start today as a matter of fact, but we all got really sick these past few days and I can still hear my pulse in my ears. I'll leave you with this: "Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The moon over the water at sunset</td></tr>
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Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-69319823733367754882016-08-19T09:12:00.000-05:002016-08-19T09:12:34.641-05:00Why we need to be filled with the Spirit of GodOne of the old hymns sings to Our Father, "I need thee every hour, every hour I need thee" and oh how true that is. As a believer, it is easy to fall into the trap of only seeking God in the moment you need Him; but what about the moments a need isn't immediately in front of you? I don't know about you, but my record of seeking the Lord on a regular basis is spotty at best and how I react to stress certainly shows it.<br />
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On a bad day life can come at me from every angle; waking up to someone having an accident in bed, a baby that wants to eat <b>now</b>, and the dishes I was too tired to do at 9 o'clock the night before. Throw in a moody (almost)teen who wants to argue, first thing in the morning, about whether or not he should be able to play video games all day or how he needs a smart phone because some of his friends do, and a moody threenager who needs you to wipe her butt, and the day certainly starts with a bang.<br />
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Now I'm sure there are practical things that can be done to help with this mess, getting over the being tired and making sure I wake up to a clean kitchen, or simply making sure I'm up before the kids so it's not coming at me the moment my feet hit the floor. But if I'm not taking time to be with the Lord, none of the practical stuff matters.<br />
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The perfect example of this is my nine-year-old's desire to embroider a pillowcase. I'm constantly encouraging (sometimes forcefully) my kids to find things to do that are <b>not </b>screens, so when we were at Hobby Lobby getting stuff for the upcoming school year, she asked if I would get her some iron-on patterns and embroidery floss so she could. Of course I said yes and the game was on. Now anyone who knows my daughter knows that she has one of the most beautiful, generous hearts you could ever want in a friend, but patient she is not. Once we got everything ready, she started her project. It didn't take long before a stitch didn't happen the way she planned and all the marbles were thrown from the basket. Now, on a bad day, I would have lost my marbles as well and we would have ended up angry with each other. But on this day, the Spirit of the Lord was upon me and I was able to talk her down. The marbles became projectiles a few more times before she finally said (not me, her) "I think I need a break because I'm getting too upset." The reason this is a cause of celebration for me is because this is my child that will insist on continuing in whatever endeavor she's working on, even when things obviously aren't working. So for her to put it away by herself is a big deal, momentous even.<br />
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I won't lie, when it was all said and done I was spent! There was an actual feeling of depletion in my chest. I should have taken a moment to 'recharge' and spent more time with God, but.... The day ended with a mom's night out so it all worked out ;)<br />
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I do want to say, I am by no means saying that God is some kind of genie able to conjure patience and a good temper at will. And there are certainly days where I do have my quiet time and the day comes crashing around my ears. But to fill the cups of our children, our husbands, our friends, we must first be filled with the Holy Spirit ourselves.<br />
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"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me</div>
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and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me</div>
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you can do nothing...</div>
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These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you,</div>
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and that your joy may be made full."</div>
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John 15:5, 11 NASB</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My joy</td></tr>
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Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-13515004847243682662016-08-13T14:42:00.000-05:002016-08-13T14:42:05.024-05:00In the book of Habakkuk, the prophet asks God many of the same questions we ask Him. Why? "Why do You make me see iniquity? Why are You silent? Why do You look with favor on those who deal treacherously? I cry out to You, Violence! Yet You do not save." (chapter 1). Why Lord? Habakkuk demands an answer of God during a time of rampant immorality in the nation of Judah. And in the second and third chapters, God answers.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My 3-year-old wanted to help take the picture :)</td></tr>
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He reveals a small part of His redemptive plan for His people and isn't that the way with God? Through all the heartache and hard times, God is still there. God will deliver us; He will deliver you. I not only know because the Bible tells me so, but because I have been blessed through trials and tribulations to sit here and tell you that His Word is true.<br />
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There was a time in my life when I was pregnant and alone, throwing up in the back of a moving Greyhound bus. I even left that little baby with neighbors I barely knew so I could go buy some pot. I don't think you get much lower than that. I didn't know then how God could possible still love, still want to be my God. But God, God redeems.<br />
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Beloved, it is okay to ask God why, it's okay to rail and shake your fist. It's even okay to make bad choices because of the unbearable hurt you feel inside; the hurt that makes you empty. Just come back to God. Take your questions to God. Beloved, allow yourself to be hurt, allow yourself to be depressed but take it to God; He will see you through. He has a redemptive plan for you, for your family. He will deliver you. We all know Jeremiah 29:11, but what about the verses after that? They tell us to call upon Him, to pray, to search for Him.<br />
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<i>"'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. 'I will be found by you,' declares the Lord, 'and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you.' declares the Lord, 'and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile.'" Jeremiah 29:11-14 NASB</i></div>
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God will deliver you, even when there is no end in sight. Rest in Him beloved. Take your questions to Him. Take your anger and your sadness to the One strong enough to handle it. Let Him love you. Habakkuk ends the book that he began by questioning God and His goodness, by praising Him:<br />
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<i>"Yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation, The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds' feet, and makes me walk on my high places." </i></div>
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<i>Habakkuk 3:18-19 NASB</i> </div>
Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-66707185488076372572016-08-08T20:57:00.000-05:002016-08-08T20:57:57.913-05:00So...contentment and entitlementYesterday at church the message Pastor gave was about avoiding entitlement and it hit home for me, literally. Now, I don't walk around expecting things to be handed to me and one of the bests things my parents taught me was the value of a hard day's work. But....what about expecting that hard day's work to give you the things you feel you deserve?<br />
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What about doing and saying all the right things and throwing an adult version of a hissy-fit because things don't work out the way you want? And what about being willing to work but not the work that's been put in front of you? Not that we would admit it of course.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our toddler can destroy our home in 3.7 seconds flat</td></tr>
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This, this is my apartment's living room/dining room. It's small, it has fire ants, it has mold, heck, I think it needs to be completely gutted and fumigated. I don't like it. You feelin' me? <br />
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My flesh wants to barely sustain the home atmosphere here and wait for the day when we have a house, then I'll work at making home. My flesh wants to sit around in the 108 heat index and complain about how the a/c in this apartment makes it too hard to get any work done. My flesh, my flesh, me, me, me.<br />
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But sitting in that seat yesterday I felt God once again telling me what He's been telling me for a while now. Make a home in the place that I, the Almighty God, the One you say you serve, have put you. Be content in where I have put you. Have you any right to be angry with the things I have given you? My ways are not your ways; work where I have put you child.<br />
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Sigh...my flesh doesn't want to listen. My flesh wants to rebel. Thank God I serve a God that is bigger and more powerful than my flesh.</div>
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<b>I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.</b></div>
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Philippians 4:13</div>
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<br />Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-66018545497757693482016-08-01T07:59:00.002-05:002016-08-01T07:59:53.553-05:00A haiku<div style="text-align: center;">
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Bag on couch, ready</div>
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Hands full, here's your bag mommy</div>
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Sigh... thank you sweetheart</div>
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Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-88070580893374947532016-07-27T15:14:00.001-05:002016-07-27T15:16:21.098-05:00I broke my daughter's heart today<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The title says it all: I broke my daughter's heart today. I have no excuses<br />
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My older two kiddos were awarded scholarships to theater camp this week, at the community theater in the city close to us. Today one of her teachers has a birthday and my 9-year-old, the Scientist as I started calling her on this blog many moons ago, wanted to make her a birthday card. She folded a piece of computer paper in half and wrote 'happy birthday ___.' On the inside she wrote who it was from, and then she was done. <br />
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She was so excited to show it to me as we got ready to leave this morning, and when she did I barely looked at it and said "all you did was write happy birthday on a piece of paper?" Her face....her face... I ripped her heart out ya'll. I heart her as no other person could. I am her mama, I should have praised her generous spirit thinking of someone else; instead I judged her work as not good enough and <i>I hurt my baby.</i> This is a child that thrives on approval and I cruelly derided her effort. Why??? Why did I do that??? I am so sorry baby, I am so sorry.<br />
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Paul writes somewhere in the new testament that he does what he hates, that which he does not want to do. I think I can empathize. <br />
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I share this with you all to say, I don't know quite honestly. Maybe to bring my sin to light so I can heal? Either way, I have a daughter to repent to and a relationship to nourish.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My silly, amazing, beautiful girl</td></tr>
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<br />Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-51323107792994859602016-07-24T20:08:00.001-05:002016-07-27T15:17:04.108-05:00You, yes you, you need to hear thisOne of my favorite words in the Bible is "beloved." In the NASB it appears 109 times in 101 different verses. It gives me a feeling of peace, of belonging, of being <i><b>known</b>.</i><br />
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<i>"Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is." 1John 3:2</i><br />
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Not only will we see Him just as He is, but He sees us, you and me, right now. And no matter who you are, where you've been, what you've done, He loves you so much; His heart aches for you beloved. <br />
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In the Holy Week leading up to His crucifiction, Jesus healed a woman who had been ill for 18 years because of a spirit of sickness. She was bent over and, I would imagine, in pain. When a synagogue official became upset because Jesus dared to heal on the Sabbath, I mean the nerve! Jesus confronted the crowd and He called them out for their hypocrsy. Then after that, after reminding them of their guilt, He said, "O Jerusalem Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, just as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not have it!" Luke 13:34<br />
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He wanted to love them! But they wouldn't have it. Beloved, let Him love you. I know that's harder than it sounds, beloved <i>I know.</i> I have been angry; I have been lost; I have been alone. I have crawled into my mental hole where no one could hurt me anymore. I have wallowed in my own self-pity.<br />
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But oh my beloved, I have been loved; I have been forgiven; I have been <i style="font-weight: bold;">redeemed.</i> No matter your story, no matter your bad choices, He wants to gather you you under His wings. He wants to love you. Please let Him. Please let Him heal your hurts, bind your wounds. Let Him into your hole so He can hold you until you're ready to come out. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Every cloud has a light ready to burst forth</td></tr>
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I know it's hard. I know how life interuppts all your good intentions. I mean my word, all was quiet when I began to write this, however, I've been correcting children the. entire. time. But belove, for God so loved the world, He gave us His Son. Let Him love you, even if it's been 18 years.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-22229618014629300042016-07-22T09:10:00.001-05:002016-07-27T15:17:22.285-05:00Upside down thistlesSo I had a post all lined out in my head about how horrible yesterday was and how God will be glorified in the horrible days and how being a mom in the midst of the mundane everyday is hard work. <br />
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Then I did the Bible study homework for a great group of women I meet with once a month and it was on pride. Yep<br />
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It puts thing in perspective to read that, not only exalting yourself in the good is pride, but holding onto the bad is also pride. How do you write about that? How to say, yesterday, quite frankly, sucked but God's going to make it all better. My spirit is still weary and if I hear one more time that God never said it was going to be easy, just that He would be there, I might scream. I kid you not.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Upside down milk thistle, because I edited it on my computer to flip it, but it uploaded in it's original form.<br />
Isn't that kinda the theme here? :-)</td></tr>
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Sometimes I wish God didn't want to grow my character quite so much.<br />
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I love the Lord my God with all my heart, but sometimes I get angry with Him. Can't it just be easy for a little while? Instead of teaching me contentment, can't I just be content? Why do I have to train and correct my children every. single. day. I did all I'm "supposed" to do, why do things keep happening???<br />
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But beloved, that is <i>pride.</i> I wish I had more answers than that, but I don't. And even when I know the answers, God gave us a whole book of them, I don't want to hear it. That too, is pride.<br />
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God gives grace to the humble, to the contrite, so, for now, I will hold onto that. God works all things for good for those who love Him.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-59515261118706875302016-07-19T08:40:00.000-05:002016-07-27T15:17:33.616-05:00Who is this guy and who does He think He is?Otherwise know as, gee thanks Jesus, I needed conviction for breakfast this morning. <br />
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This morning I read the story of the blind man in John 9; the one where, on the Sabbath, Jesus made mud with his spit and slapped on the guy's face, then told him to go wash it off. (Kinda gives new meaning to, eh, throw some dirt on it, you'll be fine). After this happens, the man's neighbors go and turn him into the Pharisees (thanks ya'll, I mean really...). And of course the Pharisees want to know what happened, they drag the guys parents in to verify that their child was, in fact, blind at birth. The parents answer yes, but they're so afraid of being kicked out of the synagogue they kind of throw their hands up and say, 'hey don't question us, ask our son, he's old enough to speak for himself.'<br />
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Don't we still do that to this day? Believers, all of us, have at one point or another said, 'not me, not me, ask this person, they know!' Think about it, we (myself very much included) are so afraid of rocking the boat sometimes that we miss out on the fact that Jesus just opened the eyes of our son, metaphorically speaking.<br />
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Right now in our home we are fixing to begin planning for our new homeschool year and trying to decide whether or not to go in a new direction as far as our curriculum. It's different from the mainly traditional stuff we have been doing, but it could be great. It has the potential to force us out of our box. <i> </i>I know this is probably insignificant in the grand scheme of things <i>but</i> <i>it could be great. </i><br />
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But it's different, in the same way Jesus is different. And when the parents were paralyzed with fear, the son that had been blind answered the Pharisees, "Whether He is a sinner, I do not know; one thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see." (John 9:25) Then, after he was booted out of the synagogue, Jesus found him, don't miss that-<i>Jesus found him</i>, and asked if he believed in the Son of Man. The blind man, that could now see said "Lord, I believe.' And he worshipped Him." v.35<br />
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Lord, I believe<br />
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<br />Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-79276583744045440062016-07-16T09:19:00.001-05:002016-07-16T09:19:55.240-05:00Don't use your brother's brush to clean the bathtubBeing a parent is hard!! I find myself saying things I never in my life thought I would say. Things like, "No, you may not use your baby brother as a football." <br />
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"Quit licking the wall; quit licking your sister; quit licking the dog; quit licking the playground; quit licking me; FOR THE LOVE OF ALL QUIT LICKING YOUR SISTER!" You get the picture... Or things like, "don't call your sister shake a booty." <br />
"Quit rolling your little brother and sister into burritos. No they don't like it; that's why they're crying."<br />
"Pull your pants up, no one wants to see your butt."<br />
"Don't wipe your boogers on my face, your sister's face, your brother's face, et cetera." I mean really? In what social situation is it okay to wipe boogers on someone?!<br />
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I never in my wildest dreams thought I would have to have a serious conversation, with a child approaching 10, about why it is not appropriate to try to breastfeed. Maybe bottle feeding gave her issues, who knows? Or to watch that same child push their sister, sees you watch them push their sister, and still denies pushing their sister. <br />
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Also, the number of times I have to repeat myself is astounding,<br />
"take out the trash."<br />
"What?"<br />
"Take out the trash."<br />
"What?"<br />
Grrrr....."TAKE OUT the trash!"<br />
"Geez, I don't understand why you are so upset Mom; I'm taking out the trash."<br />
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My favorite is when they say, "I heard you the first time." You know, after the third or fourth time.<br />
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See that face? Yeah he's adorable, even when I barely made it to the bathroom in time to stop him from throwing a dictionary in the toilet. He's also adorable when he's ripping out handfuls of his sister's hair, or when he's stomping his feet, screeching, because I won't let him stick forks in the dog's eye. How on earth did this child even get a fork???</div>
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Don't get me wrong, I would not change one second of this life we have been called to. But ya'll, it's hard. There is probably a spiritual lesson to be learned in all of this; I mean, God has probably told us to quit licking things a time or two and we just didn't listen. But right now? Right now I'm not trying to hear all that; I just want a minute to <b style="font-style: italic;">breathe!</b> These kids are amazing and wonderful and so, so funny!! But I'm exhausted! </div>
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Until next time, don't use your brother's brush to clean the bathtub.</div>
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<br />Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-62198990571615318162016-07-12T08:02:00.000-05:002016-07-12T08:11:06.346-05:00And YetIn the Old Testament there are numerous examples of various nations (think Philistine, Ammorites, Moabites, etc.) that are confronted with the God of the Israelites, and become fearful. <br />
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See, word travels fast when you're hanging with the Guy that parts seas and sends plagues. And yet, did they ever stop and think, hmm, maybe we're serving the wrong gods? Even when they honored the God of the Israelites, they never forsook their own gods to follow Him. King Darius even made a decree in Daniel chapter 6 that "all the dominion of my kingdom men are to fear and tremble before the God of Daniel; For He is the living God and enduring forever, And His kingdom is one which will not be destroyed, And His dominion will be forever." (v.26). History tells us that the Median never brought the Hebrew faith to the world when they took over the Babylonian empire, why not? The ancient peoples of the Middle East had seen God do great and wondrous things for His people; even when God took the hedge of protection away and let His people fail, there were still wondrous things going on that couldn't be denied. And yet they still chose to follow idols.<br />
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Even in today's modern age, Christians bear witness the the Good News of the resurrection of Christ, and yet.... And yet, two words that can mean the difference between life and death. I believe, and yet I follow the gods of this world when I choose the easy path. When I choose to force my will because it's faster, more efficient. And yet, God still calls. And yet, God still loves. And yet, God still lives.<br />
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Redemption is a beautiful thing. Oh but for the grace of God, the Holy One of Israel. One of the verses from the well known "Roman road to salvation" is Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift<b> </b>of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." You see beloved, God knows how messed up we are; He knows that we often fail and chase idols; <b>and yet </b>He loves us anyway. The Creator God created you, created me, and He wants you back. He just wants to love you. My prayer is that you know that, and that you know Truth.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-4586324039834446192016-07-05T08:55:00.000-05:002016-07-12T08:11:25.708-05:00A New Ramble After a Long Absence Hello, how have you been? I hope you have been blessed. In the three years since I last made a blog post (yikes!), Love bug became a full-blown toddler, and God added another busy little man to our family! A blog post from three years ago came up in my Facebook memories, and as I read them I wondered, why did I stop when I just started? I don't really have a reason really, but I do have a convoluted ramble. When I was about 14 I remember hearing that a boy I liked though I was a really boring person. Now, for context, I probably was to him because I am generally fairly quiet and reserved in person-I'm better on paper ;)<br />
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Fast forward to the adult me and there is still a great deal of trepidation when I encounter new people, new being people I haven't know for more than two years or so! There is also a great deal of, who would want to read anything I wrote? Now I say this not wanting to be full of self-pity, but to say to someone out there that, God loves you. He chose you. And even when you feel your most unlovable, even maybe downright despicable, He will never stop loving you. Growth is discovering who God made you to be, and being content in that. Faith, in this area anyway, is trusting that God has a tribe out there just for you and He will provide. In my reading this morning I came across this verse: "I, Paul, write this greeting with my own hand, and this is a distinguishing mark in every letter; this is the way I write." 2 Thessalonians 3:17<br />
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This is the way God created you to be, rejoice in love He has for you. He is the light in the darkness, and even when you're own your knees in the pit of despair, He <b>is </b>with you. He sees you and He's not angry or disappointed, He just wants to hold you. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-57544806246914603742013-09-05T18:51:00.001-05:002013-09-05T18:51:44.391-05:00For the Lonely HeartsMusic speaks to me. When I become more consistent posting here, you will see music that touches my heart, makes me think, or is just plain fun! This is a song I heard for the first time after our little family moved to big 'ol Texas; I was alone and very much pregnant with our Little Love Bug. I usually listen to Christian music but sometimes I get in the mood fer some good old fashioned rock'n'roll so I flip stations. So while I was flipping, balling, and trying to drive (yeah, not the best scenario but hey...) I found this:<br />
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Praise be to the Lord that carries me</div>
Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-20337528523902439762013-08-17T16:35:00.003-05:002013-08-17T16:35:54.872-05:00A Lesson in Humility from a Six-Year-Old<div align="center">
<span style="color: black;">"About that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?' Jesus called a little child to Him and put the child among them. Then He said, 'I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven.'"</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Matthew 18:1-3</span></div>
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Let me begin by saying that I'm not a huge fan of summer. I have come to the conclusion that God has decided to stretch me in this area, much to my dismay. </div>
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For the longest time the air conditioner in our car would decide to not work if the temperature was too hot outside. If it's in the eighties, the car is downright cold, but somewhere in the nineties a threshold gets crossed and bzzt! No cold air. We thought we fixed the problem last summer by changing out our often neglected cabin filters so, after three trips from South Texas to Oklahoma, we figured they needed to be changed again. Alas, that didn't work this time. Did I mention South Texas? Yeah....it's hot...</div>
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That rant aside, I was extremely humbled by my daughter The Scientist last weekend in the aforementioned car when we needed to go into the our closest (big)city. To drive into town we have to take the highway; heat + wind coming in four windows at 65 mph = grumpy mama. </div>
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Shortly after merging on the highway I hear my little girl singing the lyrics of the last song on the radio. The wind was loud and we couldn't even hear the radio anymore, I grumped about not wanting to turn the radio up even more. She's back there singing and I'm grumping. Then I looked back...this, this is what I saw:</div>
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My baby was praising her God, and I was complaining about the wind and the heat. My attitude shifted dramatically. It brought to mind everything we have been blessed with. I begged Him for forgiveness. My God, my God, forgive me for my ungrateful heart. Forgive me for the times I see my bad attitude come out in my children. Forgive me for not trusting in You and Your goodness. By His grace I am forgiven, we are all forgiven.<br />
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Now, I'm not going to even try and say that things have been roses and dewdrops since then, but precept upon precept we grow.<br />
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"God saved you by His grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us an boast about it. For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Chist Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago." </div>
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I try to keep His blessings in mind as I go throughout my day. To shift my perspective onto the good. </div>
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Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-42716040775064947662013-07-26T10:34:00.001-05:002013-07-26T10:37:26.868-05:00A Desire for Excellence <h3>
<span style="color: #274e13;"> ...or how to not pull my hair out</span></h3>
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How do you instill a desire to do better in your children? I just spent the last 20 minutes looking over my kids' shoulder while they did their <a href="http://www.xtramath.com/" target="_blank">Xtramath</a> because if I leave the room, or even sit down where I can't see the screen, the don't do it correctly. Xtramath is basically timed math drills on the computer. It tracks their progress, the kids enjoy computer work, and, best of all, it's free! If you don't get the answer within ten seconds, it gives it to you-and therein lies the problem. Much to my dismay I have discovered that when they don't have the answer right off they wait for it to be given to them instead of counting up as I know they know how to do.<br />
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So, back to my question: how to instill a drive to excel? Both Stuart and The Scientist are perfectionists to a degree and it really upsets them when they do poorly-really really upsets them. I have tried use this to my advantage and turn it into a healthy desire for excellence (note <u>healthy</u>). Instead they get angry and spew answers that they know are incorrect all the while complaining loudly. I have done my best to be their cheerleader (which is hard for me having not been raised that way. God's grace is so good!). Cheering made them feel better after it was all said and done but didn't stop the complaining. Sooo I became drill sergeant mommy and told them I would take their afternoon screen time away if I heard any, well, bitching and moaning. That stopped that but we still had the issue of waiting for the computer to give them the answer.<br />
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Thus watching over their shoulder. It worked, their scores were better and they stayed on task but my flesh found it extremely irritating! Perhaps self-motivation will come with age- I sure hope so! Until then I suppose I will be praying for an extra dose of grace to show to my kids and maybe an extra cup of coffee after it is all said and done.<br />
<br />Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-53784547855384681342013-07-23T14:55:00.000-05:002013-07-23T14:57:25.819-05:00Do You?We have been blessed to have my husband's parents and his daughter with us this past weekend! Dh was thrilled to have all of his children under his roof and I know his heart will break a little when she leaves. She's a great kid...teenager...oh my, I feel old....<br />
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She has decided that her code name will be 'Panda,' the girl loves her some pandas! Panda is fourteen now; when I first met her she was a little bit just staring kindergarten-how time flies! She starts high school back in Oklahoma in a few weeks and it is so awesome to hear her plans for life beyond high school! The Scientist has been bursting at the seams with excitement seeing her big sister, we just need to convince her she is not a toy...<br />
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On a different note, I have had a Bible verse in my personal reading really stand up and shout at me and I will like to share it with you. It comes from John and it's a story you have probably heard before. A man was sick for thirty-eight years, lying by the pool of Bethsaida. He had no one to help him get to the water when it bubbled up so he could be healed. No one to help him. Jesus saw him, the sick and lonely.<br />
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"When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time,</div>
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He asked him, 'Would you like to get well?'" John 5:6</div>
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Would you like to get well... It seems like such a simple question doesn't it? </div>
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Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-59699662152919375722013-07-02T12:47:00.000-05:002013-07-02T12:47:37.482-05:00On LossRecently someone close to me suffered a terrible loss. Even though I didn't need to, they would have been none the wiser, I decided to talk to Sturart and The Scientist about it. I wanted them to know that sometimes bad things happen, things that will make us ask why. Why God? Why did something looked on with such joyful expectancy turn so tragic? Why, when we trust in You, does life get robbed from us?<br />
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Eleven years ago I was in a bad spot spiritually. I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior in 1999 and life was good. Life was good until I got lonely. Now there were other things at play, but that's the long and short of it. In 2002 and I was a girl very much conflicted, dropped out of college, found the wrong people to hang out with, et cetera et cetera. Then my Mom died. I was already having faith issues and that kind of sent me in a tail spin. Needless to say, I did not react well; became obsessed with some guy, followed him to Californian and got pregnant. Pretty much I was pretty screwed up in my head for a bit but God used that itty bitty little baby to begin to bring me back.<br />
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Fast forward a couple years and I was living with my boyfriend and my little boy. That man said he wanted to marry me and be my son's father. I said yes but I was still a little...screwy. Instead of doing things the right way, we decided to have a baby (isn't that usually when things go wrong, when 'we' decide and don't let God's will be done?). We were married when I was seven months pregnant with our forever angel Abby. When I went into labor we thought everything was normal and joyfully went to the hospital, then there was no heartbeat. When she died I didn't ask God why, I blamed myself. I thought my screwed up spiritual life and my sin left the door open for the devil to steal my baby. By the Grace of God, instead of running away in shame and fear, I ran to the Father and begged Him to take me in His arms and make everything thing okay. Within two months I was pregnant with The Scientist and life was good again.<br />
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In October 2010 dh lost his baby brother in a car accident, he was 28 years old-still a young man. I have never seen my husband that broken up and my dearest hope is that I won't ever see it again. I only knew him well enough to know he was a good guy, but the great injustice, in my mind, was that he had all this junk in his life going on that he never got a chance to resolve. Dh didn't tell me until later the full extent of what our daughter and his brother's death did to his spirit. The anger and confusion he felt. A life suddenly ended.<br />
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So there will be times in our life when we question God, His plan, His goodness. And that's okay, He wants us to bring these questions to Him. There is a thief in this world that comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Sometimes we don't understand when life doesn't happen the way we think it should, and we never will. But our hope comes from the Lord and He will comfort us in our time of need, we just need to call His name.<br />
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"God blesses those who mourn,</div>
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for they will be comforted" Matthew 5:4</div>
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"I will turn their mourning into joy</div>
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I will comfort them and exchange their sorrow for rejoicing" Jeremiah 31:13b</div>
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Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-5821216764840584532013-06-30T06:00:00.000-05:002013-06-30T06:00:04.141-05:00Sunday Morning Worship<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<em>"But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." Romans 5:8</em></div>
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A song that, quite frankly, brings tears to my eyes. "His kind of Love" by Group 1 Crew. Enjoy and be blessed!</div>
<br />Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-11109955255778891202013-06-29T16:24:00.001-05:002013-06-29T16:24:06.764-05:00A Ramble on Human NatureThe minions and I were visiting some new friends the other day when one of the kids began to cry. Turns out that particular child has issues with taking turns which, let's face it, taking turns stinks. After it was all said and done I made the remark that The Scientist has issues with not winning competitions, hell hath no fury like that girl not getting first! <br />
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I was randomly thinking on this later on and it reminded me of my reaction to Romans 11 and how it all boils down to, well, jealousy.<br />
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Let me explain: in the book of Romans Paul is writing to the church in Rome (obviously) and in the particular chapter I reacted emotionally to, he is explaining where Israel fits in the whole salvation through Christ thing. To paraphrase 11:17-32, Paul is saying that the tree of Abraham is holy and it's branches are the Israelites. Since the Israelites rejected Jesus, their branches were cut away and the 'wild' branches of the Gentiles were grafted in. Paul then writes that the Gentiles should not be proud of this because it will only last until the full number of Gentiles are saved and then the Israelite branches will be put back in. He then goes on to write that Israel's heart is hard and this benefits us Gentiles, but that Israel is the one God loves because he chose their ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.<br />
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Ouch, that kind of hurt a little...<br />
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Now Paul does go on to write about God's mercy being given to us and we know that "for God so loved the world he gave His one and only Son" but when I first read Romans 11 my feelings were hurt a little, and yes, I believe God's Word should evoke more than warm fuzzy feelings. There was a little 'that's not fair' going through my head. <br />
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Now I don't really have a point to all this other than to say, we are all human and we all have a sin nature. As much as adults like to think we are superior to children, we are not, we're just better at hiding.<br />
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I leave you with this: "Oh, how great are God's riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand His decisions and His ways!" Romans 11:33.<br />
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ps. I haven't decided what song I'm going to post for Sunday but I would like to make it a regular thing :)<br />
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<br />Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665582467832222509.post-90983765817727900972013-06-24T09:19:00.001-05:002013-06-24T09:20:14.814-05:00In Which We Hit the Pause ButtonI skipped church yesterday and it was awesome. There, I said it, I feel purged. We were all up and getting ready to go, kids were eating breakfast while I fed the baby back in the bedroom...then Daddy laid down with us...then the kids crawled in and snuggled under the covers...then the music started. We spent over an hour in that bed, all five of us, just listening to praise to our Father. Now it wasn't some great spiritual experience that changed our lives and took all of our problems away, but it was counted as joy. It was awesome to just stop and enjoy the life put before us. There are so many times when we rush to get ready, get things done, that we miss the moments that could be spent cuddling. Someday they will be too old to want to snuggle in bed with their momma and daddy but I thank God that He gave us the time right now and the wisdom to see it for what it was-joy.<br />
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Afterwards dh went and picked up a crib and signed the kids up for swimming lessons! Last night I was able to sleep with my husband for the first time in four months and little love bug didn't put up a fight! Also, when dh gets home tonight he gets to do what he loves best: surprise the kids by taking them to their first lesson (I learned very early on that dh loves to surprise people, it's like his love language. I also learned not to try to guess and ruin it-if I'm right it's like I kicked his puppy, lol). Setting up the crib forced us to start organizing our bedroom, which hasn't been done since we moved in six months ago (and still isn't done but ya' know...). <br />
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By the grace of God it's looking to be a pretty stellar week and when obstacles come (and they will-probably by lunch time) His grace will carry us. So will His forgiveness when I don't always handle it well.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13881473383053893349noreply@blogger.com0