A Desire for Excellence

 ...or how to not pull my hair out

How do you instill a desire to do better in your children? I just spent the last 20 minutes looking over my kids' shoulder while they did their Xtramath because if I leave the room, or even sit down where I can't see the screen, the don't do it correctly. Xtramath is basically timed math drills on the computer. It tracks their progress, the kids enjoy computer work, and, best of all, it's free! If you don't get the answer within ten seconds, it gives it to you-and therein lies the problem. Much to my dismay I have discovered that when they don't have the answer right off they wait for it to be given to them instead of counting up as I know they know how to do.

So, back to my question: how to instill a drive to excel?  Both Stuart and The Scientist are perfectionists to a degree and it really upsets them when they do poorly-really really upsets them.  I have tried use this to my advantage and turn it into a healthy desire for excellence (note healthy).  Instead they get angry and spew answers that they know are incorrect all the while complaining loudly.  I have done my best to be their cheerleader (which is hard for me having not been raised that way.  God's grace is so good!).  Cheering made them feel better after it was all said and done but didn't stop the complaining.  Sooo I became drill sergeant mommy and told them I would take their afternoon screen time away if I heard any, well, bitching and moaning.  That stopped that but we still had the issue of waiting for the computer to give them the answer.

Thus watching over their shoulder.  It worked, their scores were better and they stayed on task but my flesh found it extremely irritating!  Perhaps self-motivation will come with age- I sure hope so!  Until then I suppose I will be praying for an extra dose of grace to show to my kids and maybe an extra cup of coffee after it is all said and done.

Do You?

We have been blessed to have my husband's parents and his daughter with us this past weekend!  Dh was thrilled to have all of his children under his roof and I know his heart will break a little when she leaves.  She's a great kid...teenager...oh my, I feel old....

She has decided that her code name will be 'Panda,' the girl loves her some pandas!  Panda is fourteen now; when I first met her she was a little bit just staring kindergarten-how time flies!  She starts high school back in Oklahoma in a few weeks and it is so awesome to hear her plans for life beyond high school!  The Scientist has been bursting at the seams with excitement seeing her big sister, we just need to convince her she is not a toy...

On a different note, I have had a Bible verse in my personal reading really stand up and shout at me and I will like to share it with you.  It comes from John and it's a story you have probably heard before.  A man was sick for thirty-eight years, lying by the pool of Bethsaida.  He had no one to help him get to the water when it bubbled up so he could be healed.  No one to help him.  Jesus saw him, the sick and lonely.

"When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time,

He asked him, 'Would you like to get well?'"  John 5:6

Would you like to get well...  It seems like such a simple question doesn't it?    



On Loss

Recently someone close to me suffered a terrible loss.  Even though I didn't need to, they would have been none the wiser, I decided to talk to Sturart and The Scientist about it.  I wanted them to know that sometimes bad things happen, things that will make us ask why.  Why God?  Why did something looked on with such joyful expectancy turn so tragic?  Why, when we trust in You, does life get robbed from us?

Eleven years ago I was in a bad spot spiritually.  I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior in 1999 and life was good.  Life was good until I got lonely.  Now there were other things at play, but that's the long and short of it.  In 2002 and I was a girl very much conflicted, dropped out of college, found the wrong people to hang out with, et cetera et cetera.  Then my Mom died.  I was already having faith issues and that kind of sent me in a tail spin.  Needless to say, I did not react well; became obsessed with some guy, followed him to Californian and got pregnant.  Pretty much I was pretty screwed up in my head for a bit but God used that itty bitty little baby to begin to bring me back.

Fast forward a couple years and I was living with my boyfriend and my little boy.  That man said he wanted to marry me and be my son's father.  I said yes but I was still a little...screwy.  Instead of doing things the right way, we decided to have a baby (isn't that usually when things go wrong, when 'we' decide and don't let God's will be done?).  We were married when I was seven months pregnant with our forever angel Abby.  When I went into labor we thought everything was normal and joyfully went to the hospital, then there was no heartbeat.  When she died I didn't ask God why, I blamed myself.  I thought my screwed up spiritual life and my sin left the door open for the devil to steal my baby.  By the Grace of God, instead of running away in shame and fear, I ran to the Father and begged Him to take me in His arms and make everything thing okay.  Within two months I was pregnant with The Scientist and life was good again.

In October 2010 dh lost his baby brother in a car accident, he was 28 years old-still a young man.  I have never seen my husband that broken up and my dearest hope is that I won't ever see it again.  I only knew him well enough to know he was a good guy, but the great injustice, in my mind, was that he had all this junk in his life going on that he never got a chance to resolve.  Dh didn't tell me until later the full extent of what our daughter and his brother's death did to his spirit.  The anger and confusion he felt.  A life suddenly ended.

So there will be times in our life when we question God, His plan, His goodness.  And that's okay, He wants us to bring these questions to Him.  There is a thief in this world that comes to steal, kill, and destroy.  Sometimes we don't understand when life doesn't happen the way we think it should, and we never will.  But our hope comes from the Lord and He will comfort us in our time of need, we just need to call His name.

"God blesses those who mourn,

for they will be comforted"  Matthew 5:4

"I will turn their mourning into joy

I will comfort them and exchange their sorrow for rejoicing" Jeremiah 31:13b